What I Do For You People…..

Yesterday we had a garage sale. It was myself, my mom, my sister, and my niece. Garage sales suck! There’s all the work leading up to it. There’s getting up at the butt crack of dawn to set everything up. There are those idiots who think that it’s alright to get at the sale before 7 a.m., when the sale doesn’t start until 8 a.m. and then start going through stuff like they are entitled to it. (They aren’t, they are just rude asses.) Then there are the jerks that want to bargain you down from $2.50 to $.25 on a pair of jeans that you paid $70.00 for. Then there is the frustration of said jeans never selling because you won’t come down. Then after the sale there’s the exhaustion of having to box everything up, and move the tables and shelves back inside. Needless to say I was exhausted and not in a great mood yesterday evening.

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But, I promised everyone that I would suffer through watching Spy, the new Paul Feig comedy with Melissa what’s her name in it, and then review it on here. So off I went last night to the movies. I hope you people realize the pains I go through for all of you.

If you read my post from Friday, you know that I love Melissa McCarthy. But after watching Spy last night I need to correct myself. I don’t love her anymore. I worship at the feet of her immense greatness. I desire to be the person who peels her grapes. Hell, I’d even pretend her kids were cute if it meant I got to breathe her recycled air. PEOPLE, she is truly amazing. And the movie is f’ing hysterical.

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The set up for the movie is great. McCarthy plays Susan Cooper, a CIA agent who spends her time in the basement of Langley walking her dream man and fellow agent Bradley Fine, played by Jude Law, through many a spy caper. But when something happens to him, and the villainess of the film, hilariously played by Rose Byrne reveals she knows the names and faces of all of the CIA’s top agents, Cooper has to go undercover to stop a nuclear disaster. Throughout her attempts to thwart the evildoers she has to deal with an angry fellow agent played by Jason Statham.

The movie starts off cute, but cute in a good way. Not like little kids are cute, because that isn’t cute that is annoying. But cute like it good be a good movie, but not a great movie. The opening title sequence is a great salute to the James Bond franchise, complete with graphics and music. Then we get a little bit of a false feed that it’s going to be a rom-com. Now I have to be honest, if I wasn’t all about McCarthy I may have mentally checked out, but McCarthy is even good during that. But once it goes all spy games it just gets progressively better. That said, there is a moment in the film where McCarthy’s character goes all in as a super spy in charge and from that moment on I don’t know that I quit laughing, cheering and falling more and more in love with McCarthy!

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I should give you all a little warning here, it is at that moment that the movie stops be a “PG13” film and goes full blast “R”. The F-word flies, the double entendres are coming full force and the action gets a little more bloodier. But who cares? McCarthy is killing it. She is being hilariously bad ass. And she is taking no prisoners. And she is looking hot. Yep people, I said it before and I’ll say it again. She may be a “plus sized” actress, but when she puts the glam on she is gorgeous. Like HOT gorgeous.

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I also want to take a minute to talk about Jason Statham. Statham is a really good action star. He’s not like a stellar actor, but he’s better than some (Yes, Vin and Dwayne, I’m talking about you). However, in this movie he almost steals scenes from McCarthy. And if you know McCarthy you know that is a near impossible feat. He is a riot as Rick Ford, a disgruntled agent who has a story for every situation and each one gets a little bit more ridiculous than the last. His comedic timing with McCarthy is spot on and sets such a great tone. I’m ready to see him do more comedy.

If I were to pick a weak part of the film, I would have to say it is Miranda Hart, who plays McCarthy’s friend and sidekick. My problem with her isn’t really as an actress, it’s the character. I don’t know why it was necessary to make the character such a homely and inept fool. I mean I get that that is the role of the sidekick, but I think there may have been more humor in having it played more straight and less bumbling. It just seems a little too cliché. But, hey what do I know, I have never directed a box-office blockbuster so I guess I should shut up and defer to Feig.

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The other actors in the movie are great. Jude Law as Cooper’s dream agent is a great spoof on James Bond. Rose Byrne as Rayna, the super bitch villain is hilarious and holds her own, as usual, against McCarthy. And then there is Allison Janney as the CIA Deputy Director. I love me some Janney, and can’t imagine her giving a bad performance. And she doesn’t. She doesn’t have a lot of screen time, but when she is on, she is ON.

So, yes people as exhausted and mentally drained as I was yesterday, I suffered through it and went to the movies so that you may not have had to. But, the problem is now you have to. Because this movie is a must see. Not a must rent. Not a must watch once it’s able to be downloaded. It’s a MUST GET OFF YOUR BUTT, DRIVE DOWN TO THE MULTIPLEX BUY A TICKET AND LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF MOVIE! No seriously, do it. NOW! If not for me for your sanity and well-being. I promise, you’ll love it, and if you don’t, well why are you reading my stuff?

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P.S. – Stick around to watch the end credits. They’re hilarious, and there is one little outtakey type scene that will crack you up!

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