I love keeping up with the news. I originally wrote “I love the news” but I really very seldom find news I love. Take this week for example; A co-pilot intentionally crashes his plane killing 150 innocent people, Indiana takes a gigantic leap into the past and paints hoosiers as homophobes, a NYC building explodes and collapses injuring dozens. What’s there to like about that? But I have four news apps on my iPhone, three newsfeeds on my Twitter feed, and watch the news at least 1 hour a day. Call me weird, but I feel like I need to know what’s going on in the world, so I love keeping up with the news. Ridiculous.
I’m also addicted to entertainment news. I have three additional apps on my iPhone for entertainment news. My favorites on my browser are full of entertainment sites. I know what’s going on in the entertainment world. I’m like The Jerk getting his phone book each week when my Entertainment Weekly comes in the mail. If you have a question about movies, television, and to some degree music ask me. I might know the answer, but I’ll definitely know how to find it. I’m weird that way too.
Now all of that said….. Why in the name of all things holy, and unholy for that matter, should I care that some supposedly good-looking 22 year old kid from Great Britain, that’s parents did not know the proper spelling of his name, is quitting his band? And exactly how is it a band? Do the play instruments? Or is an autotuner now considered an instrument, so that qualifies them as a band? I just don’t get it. This is not Network news. This is not 24 hour Cable News. This is not global news. This is Teen Beat news, not Wall Street Journal news.
Now I’m not a teenage girl, nor was I ever one, so I don’t follow One Direction, but I’ve heard a few of their songs. They’ve had a few big hits that I’m familiar with. They didn’t make me want to throw up the way that Canadian brat’s songs do. But what exactly have these five allegedly talented guys done that all the boy bands (not my term) before them didn’t do?
And can we please not compare them to The Beatles. Or this kid’s fiancé as Yoko Ono. Oh what the hell, compare her to Yoko. Both are inconsequential and probably equal in talent. But this group is not The Beatles. You know how I know. Well for one thing I can count. Five is not four. For another thing I can hear. One Thing is no Yesterday. What Makes You Beautiful is no Paperback Writer. And don’t even expect me to even jokingly compare anything this manufactured group has performed to Eleanor Rigby. I mean I actually think a better law for the Indiana Governor to enact would be making it illegal to compare these children to The Beatles. Punishable by being forced to listen to them 24/7.
Yet somehow this has been reported as “Breaking” news. No seriously it has. It’s breaking news that one of the other members of this group has cried publicly on stage over their loss. Another has apparently started miming putting his arm around the quitter on stage. Workers in London are calling in to work asking for hardship leave to cope with the loss. People are being flown into mountains and this little creep quitting is more important news? Seriously, we have problems here people.
Okay, that’s my rant for the week. Oh, one last question….Which one of these twirps is Zane (no, I will not misspell his name just because his parents did)?